The Wizard of Spira
by Letselina
Summary: Wizard of OzFFX(2) Crossover. Basically, picking on both. Tidus is Dorthy, Seymour is the Wicked Witch of the West, Kimahri is Toto, and Yuna is Glenda, the Good witch... with a nasty attitude. Just read!
1. It's a Twista!

A/N: No. Don't ask how I came up with this. It's rated PG-13 for constant picking on Tidus and cussing. I hope you like it!  
  
--Chapter One--  
  
-It's a Twista!-  
  
Tidus ran down the path, his faithful pet, Kimahri close behind. "Auntie Lu! Auntie Lu!" he cried. "That wicked old guy from down the street yelled at Kimahri!"  
  
"Now Tidus! I'm very busy!" his aunt, Lulu, scolded. "Mr. Seymour doesn't like to be bothered."  
  
"He's a major pain in the arse, yah?" Tidus' uncle, Wakka laughed.  
  
"You shut up. You're putting a bad impression on the kid," Lulu said, hitting him.  
  
Tidus sighed, walking over to a haystack. "Everything's so grey and dull here Kimahri..." Taking in a deep breath, he broke out into song, "Some where over the rainbow!"  
  
Kimahri growled, covering his ears with his paw.  
  
After Tidus' song finished, he noticed a big haired person riding on a bike towards them. He looked around, hearing the evil wicked witch of the west. "AHH! It's Seymour!" he cried.  
  
"I've come for your oversized-hornless-cat! He won't bother my animals any longer!" he snapped.  
  
"No! Auntie Lu! You can't let him take Kimahri!"  
  
"Then I'll call the sheriff!" Seymour threatened.  
  
"I'm sorry Tidus. You'll have to go Kimahri."  
  
"Hmph. That's right!" Seymour cackled. He put Kimahri in a large basket and hopped on his bicycle.  
  
"NOOOOO!" whined Tidus. "It's not fair!" he watched them until they were out of sight. He ran into his room then, crying. Suddenly, something BIG jumped in through his window. "Kimahri!" he cried happily. "Oh no! But that bastard will come back for you... We'll have to run away!"  
  
So Tidus and Kimahri ran away. They meet an old fortune-teller on the road.  
  
"Are you all right my child?" she asked. It was a young blonde.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"I am Madame Rikku, the bestest fortune teller in the world!"  
  
Tidus coughed, "Crazy!"  
  
"I heard that!"  
  
"Than prove it!"  
  
"Okay close your eyes!" Madame Rikku said. Tidus did as he was told. Quickly, Rikku mugged him for his pocket money and ran off.  
  
"Can I open my eyes yet?" Tidus asked. No one answered, so he opened them anyways. He noticed all his money was gone. "Damnit..."  
  
Tidus and Kimahri look in the sky and see... A TWISTA! AHHHH! They ran towards their farm. "Auntie Lu! Uncle Wakka!" he screamed. He couldn't get in the storm cellar, so he and Kimahri ran into the house, hiding. But something hit him in the head, and he was knocked unconscious.  
  
When he awoke, he saw out the window Seymour, riding his bicycle. But he turned into a witch; wearing a dress and on a broomstick. "AH! It burns!" he shrieked. Many other things passed his window until the house crashed on the ground. Stepping out, he noticed he was in... color. "Kimahri... I don't think-- HOLY SHIT! You're blue!" he cried.  
  
"And I can talk, you dumb shit..." the Ronso stood on his back legs. "But your singing made me deaf. I was afraid to talk!"  
  
Tidus scoffed. "Gee thanks!" he argued. "But I don't think we're in Kansas anymore..."  
  
"You dumbass! We never were in Kansas!"  
  
But their petty arguing was interrupted by giggles. "What was that?" Kimahri asked.

A/N: Please R&R otherwise I won't update!!  
If anyone is confused on characters, so far in this chapter:  
Tidus= Dorthy  
Kimahri= Toto  
Lulu= Auntie Em  
Wakka= Errm... Dorthy's Uncle (I don't remember his name)  
Rikku= The fortune teller  
Seymour= the wicked witch of the west 


	2. Yuna, The Good Witch

A/N: Glad you guys like it so far. Enjoy! (No I have NO CLUE how I got this idea.)  
  
--Chapter Two--  
  
-Yuna, The Good Witch-  
  
"Oh don't worry," said a comforting female voice. A young woman floated down from the sky, dressed in a big pink fairy gown. "It's just the Hypello."  
  
"Welcome to Oz!" a slow Hypello spoke, popping his head from the bushes. At least a hundred came out, dancing in a circle aroudn Tidus, Kimahri, and the fairy.  
  
"So what are you? I've never seen a tall fairy... You don't look pretty enough to be a fairy... Hell I've never seen a fairy..." Tidus said.  
  
The 'fairy' beat him over the head with her wand. "I'm not a fairy!" she shrieked. "I'm a witch."  
  
"Ahhh! Yer ugly enough to be a witch, ain't cha?" spoke Kimahri. This earned him, an even harder smack on the head, breaking her wand.  
  
Red faced, the witch sighed. "My name is Yuna. I am the good witch from the north."  
  
"I bet," Tidus muttered.  
  
"Now what do you want? Why are you here in Oz? Your dumb house squished the Wicked Witch of the West's sister, the Wicked Witch of the East."  
  
"Errrmm... there was a twista," Tidus said.  
  
"Oh I see. Anyways, what do you want?"  
  
Kimahri yawned. "To go home."  
  
"Yeah about that," Yuna sighed. "Since both of you forced me to beat you with my wind, and breaking it, that won't happen too easily."  
  
"Meaning?" Tidus asked.  
  
"You have to follow the yellow brick road."  
  
The Hypello jumped, and began to slowly sing a merry chant about following the yellow brick road.  
  
"Will you SHUT UP?" Yuna screamed.  
  
"Someone's PMSing...." Tidus mumbled.  
  
"Wanna repeat that?"  
  
"No."  
  
Yuna put her hands on her hips. "Okay, you follow the yellow brick road until you get to the Emerald City. Then you will be able to talk to the Wizard. He'll send you home and praise be to Yevon if you never return."  
  
The Hypello began to sing again as Tidus and Kimahri ran down the yellow brick road.  
  
"SHUT UP!" Yuna screamed, causing a giant explosion.  
  
Tidus and Kimahri looked back, seeing their house blown to bits. They turned, seeing the pink witch in front of them again. She was holding a pair of bright orange hooker boots. "What are those?" Kimahri asked.  
  
"These are the magical orange hooker boots. You need to keep those from the Wicked Witch of the West."  
  
"Why?" Tidus asked.  
  
"Because he'll use them for EVIL."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Cuz that's how he is."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I have other wands, you know."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I hope he gets them and turns you to dust or some other shit..." Yuna muttered.  
  
"Waiiiiiit a sec," Kimahri interuppted, "He is a witch? How does that work?"  
  
"Don't ask..."  
  
"Do I have to wear these?" Tidus asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
So Tidus, in bright orange hooker boots, and Kimahri began to... follow the yellow brick road.  
  
A/N: Now I love Tidus... but it'd be funny to see ANY guy in bright orange hooker boots. Stay tuned for Chapter Three, Wakka the Scarecrow. (Yes I know these chapters are short... but it's just supposed to be funny) 


End file.
